A double-whammy for sure.  With a voice that is desperate to escape from feelings and driven to help others, the addict and the codependent inside of me are very close.  They skip arm in arm through my day making loud suggestions as to my next action.

“Doing is what humans are!” they say.  “No matter what you are feeling you inevitably have to do something about it!”  “You are an emotional mess and that’s what always gets you in trouble–so just DO, don’t sit and FEEL!”  “And when you DO for others, you’ll go straight to heaven.”

Phew.  Noisy noisy nosy twins.  But it is true, I breathe more than feel.  If I don’t eat, I die.  And every moment of the day there is a relationship that is around the corner that needs some kind of attention: boss, cat, traffic, partner, gas attendant. 

They say that if I feel my own feelings and take care of myself that relationships and my “doing” will come from peace and serenity.  HA!  Now the voices are laughing, wondering if “they” are really being human after all.

Feeling peace and acceptance here for a second.  Off to be a serene human playing well with others.