St. Theresa writes about the meditative journey into a castle with many mansions, past a ditch with nasty animals, courtyards with temptations and disturbing entrance ways.

I feel like I am stuck on the outside of the inner wall.  I got through the courtyard, but am resting with my back against the wall, content and confident that I am inside the heart of the Divine abode, but just watching the spiders and mice, scavenger birds and other rodents live their life out in distraction.

There is nothing wrong, everything is as it should be.  I am practicing deep loving kindness to myself as I am every day distracted by the parade going by inside my head.

I am both the distraction and the unmovable earth; I am the cloudy windy sky; and I am the peace that is never disturbed resting in my Mother and Father’s home.

I am.