Recognizing a peculiar lack of passion, I am allowing the Way to lead me.  I walk the Path, same as always, with less control, determination or fierce habit of doing.  I sit and wonder often.  I wait until the next action comes up to my feet and kicks them into movement.

I am plagued with “not good enough” “not doing enough” “why bother” and a specter of laziness.  This sitting and waiting for the next right action exposes all my cultural and family myths and rules. “if you can’t do something right, don’t do anything at all.”  “If you need something to do, help someone else.”  And the deep old belief that my purpose in life is to bring goodness to others.

It’s like old blood being drained out of me and new blood transfusing.  Still I am slow and being me just for me. 

So I lean on the Goddess and Main Man within me.  Holding both hands of stillness and power, brilliance and comfort, we walk the Path.