Standing up for myself vs. letting it go

One of those fallacies of duality hitting me again–should I clarify what I believe I need in a relationship, or let absolute self-love wash over me and see that I can love myself with the Divine Friend more than anyone else can be required to give.

In codependent recovery, it is important to see where I am nourished and where I am not nourished.  And to not expect much rain in a desert of a narcissist friend.  Friend?  Acquaintance.  Family member.  Kin.  Old soul group member more precisely.

What are we polishing in ourselves this time?

And if I have to ask you for nourishment, would what you give me ever really be nourishing?  Or is the act of asking the very nourishment I give myself.

Pairs of ducks for sure.