(From “Addictation” ktk)
What
is wrong with you?
I
don’t know, shit, I’m just so pissed!
What
is it, you’re really cranky.
I
can’t stand this stuff–it’s so stupid, what a crappy place to work.
Well! Aren’t we negative today.
Up
yours.
Get
real, all of a sudden you’re so touchy, freaking rude.
Yeah
yeah yeah. Whatever.
When
did this start?
I
don’t know, I don’t know. I just DON’T
know!
Ok,
let’s take a look at this–you were fine this morning–good walk.
Yeah.
And
the drive to work was ok, birds singing, spring and all.
Yeah,
that’s true.
So
when did you get all twisted.
Hmmm. Well, the meeting didn’t go real well.
The
meeting–what happened?
Well
she just condescended me so totally BAD–geez, I could’ve screamed, what a
bitch!
Ok,
what did she say.
Nothing
really, she just blew me off with that shitty look of hers.
Ok,
so she didn’t really say anything.
No,
but that look sucks.
Ok,
so you felt disrespected, not heard.
Yeah,
that’s it.
And
then what happened.
Well,
I told her I wasn’t going to get the project done when she wanted it. Forget about it if she’s going to treat me
like that.
How
did that go over?
It
didn’t, she closed off after that.
Not
a good way to talk to the boss.
Blah
blah blah, yeah.
So
what is familiar about this?
Feeling
disrespected, getting pissed and revengeful, arrogant and defensive.
And
how does that work for you.
Oh
shuttup!
So
now what? How can we balance back this
instinct?
Ok,
so if it’s a feeling not a fact, I am wanting to be heard and can communicate
to her. I can clarify the delay–but I’m
so pissed about her attitude.
But
that’s not something you can change.
Ok
ok ok. So I go back and explain my
emotional reaction and just tell her the facts.
ARGH. But I still feel
disrespected and unappreciated!
And
where can you get that feeling of appreciation?
I’m
going to walk around the block and talk to the Trees.
Great.
ktk 2007