There is a phrase in one of my favorite spiritual books that says when we try regular self-examination, “Rebellion dogs our every step.”  Well this morning these dogs and I made a racket.

A couple months ago I got caught walking my dog in my neighborhood without a leash and got an expensive ticket.  Mr. Lucky the Dog is over 15 years old and hardly gets 10 feet from me no matter where we go.  The story, though, is how angry and self-righteous I was about getting this ticket that I–unique to the world–do NOT deserve!  And after all the illegal things I’ve done in my life, I should be ALLOWED to have this one little infraction.  Nice stories, huh?!

Walking this morning–with the leash–I found myself obstinate about going to the street where I “knew” the neighbors called the animal control police.  I did not want them seeing me bowing to this stupid law.  I kept imagining the laughable story that someone inside a house was snickering in victory that they succeeded in the battle to make me have my dog on a leash–which feels like I’M on a leash.

I realized that I was ashamed about being obedient to the law.  My rebellious attitude–built from the very youngest years–is defiantly antagonistic.  My self-esteem is based on being insubordinate and unruly.  I have relied on and have been proud of being eccentric, different and disobedient!! 

Watching this hysterical story unfold quieted the savage beast inside me a bit.  How can I get beyond this silly internal battle?  What is on the other side of bowing to this law?  (I mean, it is only a leash law for crying out loud!)

I’ve got to step out into that “off-leash” field that is beyond right and wrong.  Like water, following the Will of Heaven will come to a wall and simply turn.  I take these rebel dogs to the dog park and we wrestle with sticks instead.  What a gift to recognize that there is this open meadow of grace available to me, where I can set aside pride, victory, right, wrong, you, me, and all the hypnotic illusions of duality to walk in peace.