I just don’t want to do what I know is a good idea for me to do for my mental health.  Just don’t want to do it.  It’s out of routine, will stick me in traffic, demands emotional intimacy and sharing of my personal state, being nice to people in the morning–UGH.

That’s one of the problems being an addict–the voices inside tend to want to DIVE into whatever is dangerous, stupid, adventurous, escapist, distraction with adrenalin rather than take my supplements, go to spiritual meetings, be around friends, do service, take care of myself.  The voices say “BORING”.  It’s just the way of the addict.

And the recognition of good feelings that inevitably arrive after these “good things I can do for myself” is usually a quiet little voice in the back of the mad room inside my head.  “You’ll feel better after–you always do.  You’re always grateful you did.”  agh.

Does everyone have these pouty vs. good voices–two little angels fighting in the head?  Doesn’t matter, they are mine to work with.

Today I do the right good thing for me, and let the pouty one just pout.  Sullen resistance simply happens for humans. But as we all know: Resistance is futile, Dorothy.

In gratitude for some kind of awareness today.