Amazing how the specter of the holidays can spark little anxieties about where to go, who to see, what about a family gathering, wanting to leave town, isolate, find the mythical relationship.  Especially after a distinct shift this year of relationships and living situation.

Maybe it’s time to get a pet.

I suffer from the disease of helping people.  Wanting everyone to be happy.  It can be an obsession, just like any other escape and fear.  It’s a funny fear though, as I struggle to be kind to myself.  I’m not sure I know the balance–kind to myself, reaching out to others; service vs. selfishness vs. self-care.

So sometimes I go with the flow, sit huddled by the heater and read a magazine.  Cover up and prop up with pillows in my bed and play word games on my phone.  The moon moves.  The flow changes.  Plans sprout.  Calm enters the room.

And in this dark autumn cool morning, I lean into the fragrance of Your Presence.