So the fear of being too needy chokes out messy words, tearful whines, achy anger.  And the halting, insufficient, unsolving conversation helps. 

Mowing a swath through the tall golden grass allows for tiny clumps of yellow blooms.  Forest fires are the only way redwood pinecones open up to seed.  Flooding of the lowlands guarantees the rich fertile silt for the rice paddies.  You just never know how the river flow will help, hinder and help again.

It’s possible that dissatisfaction at work will lead to fear and anger and a fabulous new position somewhere else.   It’s possible that hard work cleaning the house will yield a clear open happy feeling for friends to fill it with laughter and love.  It’s possible that joining family in a death celebration brings new life to rough and rigid relationships.

It’s possible that all my heart-tests–hardest–times are the best exercise leading me to a gold medal … and then life after life after life.