Juxtaposition is a good word.  Being here and now and feeling nowhere and conflicted.

Perfect warm sunny California morning.  Thinking about my dear cloudy foggy misty Pacific Northwest.  Delightful moments snuggled with my daughter, plans ahead for grand granddaughter baby sitting.  Adventure awaiting for a move here.

Terror.  Insecurity.  Lost.  Unloved.  The fear talking now.  Making friends with the little frightened girl inside who recognizes a change ahead.  Monsters of death, dying, loss, heartache mix with the excitement of new friends travel, deep joy and transformation.

What a ride.

So I reach out for the core of my heat, the Dear One, the trees outside this window.  Standing for the Path that never ends.  Still and pure with All That Is.  Ever present.  Close to my cheek like newborn skin.