Heart trumps the mind

The mind cracks me up–when I’m balanced.  It thinks it runs the show.  I mean..really!  Try “thinking” a change of the weather, or through heartache or feelings.  Well it doesn’t work for me.

Understanding is such a tease.  There is something in us that struggles again and again with the belief that if I just understand it, I will feel better.  Ha.  It is more true to say if I feel better, I won’t have to worry about understanding.

And beneath all the feelings and desire for understanding is the hunger to feel safe and loved.  That’s what it gets down to for me.  A cross look, a mistake, a long tiring drive, a misunderstanind–all these melt down to the feeling that I’m alone and unloved.

Which, of course, is a big fat lie.  The Dear One is forever with me, always loving.  Our funny chess game together is that She keeps locking me down with the pieces of my life trying to make me think–get it “think”–differently.

But my heart is trump, I’ve got a hand of aces and I know She’ll let me win if I throw them up in the air and laugh full out with joy.  “I LOVE this game with You!!!”