So the message today was to be FULL, filled, open and overflowing with joy and love.  How the HECK am I supposed to feel FULL, when the hypnotic illusion of reality feeds that yapping negative dog inside of me that says “Nope, not enough for that.  No, you won’t do for that.  Hmm, don’t see an opening for you there.”  The story of insufficiency.

It’s a crappy story and I don’t like it.  I’d rather feel full, like walking in the chaotic spring field, brown slowly yielding to green, robins patrolling for mates and nesting materials, geese honking their path through the sky to the south.  I want to jump off the edge of the fake cliff of old beliefs and soar into the unknown of yet-to-be-with wings of faith.  Even trampled slashed briars are perfect; why do I question my worth so easily?

Just watch your feet, She says.  There are stones in the path, just step over them.  You have boots that keep you warm and dry in muddy deep puddles.  Watch your step for roots ready to grab you and rocks sneaking up as you are distracted with green springing along the path.

She grabs my hand, a morphing fairy child and energetic grandmother.  Hold on to me, I will sprout wings and we will soar over the crevices, float upon the rapids with terrifying thrills, and thrive in the snowfields with my fire.

Hold my hand and be full.  Be full.  Be filled and full.