I have been bad about keeping up my vegetable garden  It happens a lot.  I get all excited in the spring, dig it out, mulch it up, pull the weeds and plant the seeds.  Then, like this summer, it was so hot, and I am forgetful about watering, that it expired. 

I spied something out there the other day, and I walked up to it, a bit ashamed of my vacillating care.  There, from nowhere, was a proud and pretty white petunia.  I have never planted petunias ever, anywhere.  So this is clearly a gift from Gaia. Perhaps assisted with the poop from a bird, yes, but a gift nonetheless.

My prayer today is that my eyes are completely open, whether in clear or foggy weather, to suck the gifts out of the mist and break out in petunias throughout my every action.

Hurray for the wedding celebration today!  I am gifted with the blessing to officiate at my sister’s wedding and there is hardly a comparable joy than to stand for the love of a new couple’s commitment to each other.

Marriage is a symbol in all spiritual systems of the hand-holding collaboration between spirit and matter, human and divine, macro and micro.  As above, so below.  Today there is a party in all the heavens for these two hands–completely different–clasped so perfectly together.

Family and friends on this side of the veil and beyond are crammed into the sanctuary of this space on this soft sweet planet to applaud once again the tribute to the eternality of love.

Love turns the flower’s face to the sun.  Love pushes the seed from the rock-hard seed through the packed earth.  Affection brings us all here.  Indulging in what I crave makes my fingers click these keys to remind you how precious it is, this adventure of letting the Divine Artist live through Her creation as me.

From time to time the berry briars are slashed and chopped, piled into a tangled heap of brown limbs.  The roots, however, breathe deep in their power and push up again strong.  It does not take long.

What are briars but a gardener’s day of work?  What is a gardener but a strength for weeds?

We are rolling in the Tao, the yin/yang, at every turn.  Some days I am content and amazed to be given the gift of human life on this brilliant blue-green planet.  Other days I fight the tedious job to breath in and out. 

Allowing the teeter-totter to rise and fall on either side is my practice of balance.  The desperate obsessive voices do not ever go completely away.  And my eternal sitting spot in the deepest center of my Divine Lover’s heart is secure.

Fog’s duty is to remind us to slow down and listen.  To watch for the lighthouse and listen for the foghorn of the next indicated step.  I can take my glasses off in the fog–clarity is often irrelevant.  Can I sit in the indiscernible future?

It is like a Monet–soft landscapes to enjoy.  Letting beauty rise above the edges.  The path never leaves the bottom of my feet.  The Way is familiar, the crunch of gravel soothes with each step.

There is no death, just another walk.

So if time is not real, and the now is all that exists, what really is happening when I am getting ready for something?  I’m off on a trip to “marry my sister”–HA, I love saying that.  I am an ordained minister and I’m officiating her ceremony.  It will be filled with feelings, that’s for sure, for the normal reasons, and that my father has recently been promoted to the other side and won’t be there in body.

But getting ready and being present at the same time.  It is about grace and gratitude that I can fly to the other side of the country, see dear ones from my past, travel through country that is the geography of my heart and be close to faces I’ve witnessed transform.  It is about holding onto my possessions as I pack them: clothes, special outfit, talismans, books, personal effects, jewelry.  I also prepare little treats to hide for my partner that stays behind.

Arrangements are made that my animals will be loved, walked and fed by a friend who cares for them.

And I breathe in the grace of Gaia through the leaves on the shifting trees, the shiny green bushes, the brilliant guest in my abandoned vegetable garden–a white petunia.  The Creator creates for my joy and I send back my love by always being ready to receive.

As a member of the Intergalactic Federation of Light Workers, I am dedicated to spreading the light.  But that means, in a Taoist view, that I watch for those–including myself–when in the dark.  Dark and light are as comfortable friends as day and night, obviously.  Thus daily I am asked to “lighten up” myself, and open a crack in the windows of closed off people.

Tiny points of light lead the way as stars to navigate.  A tasty cup of warm tea.  Out in the morning dark to meet a friend. Scarves and mittens, blankets and reading lights.  Phone calls to make and those to receive.  Altars throughout my house with favorite gods, wood flowers, cows, stuffed animals and angels from all faiths.  These are comforts in the dark, and open my eyes to the light on the forward path.

I bow to those in prisons, death camps, ethno-purging starving marches; to those facing warl, families and friends dying, loss and the bone-cracking emptiness of inertia.  There is always light.  The sun never goes away, we just turn our back to Her.  May an angel of warmth tickle your soul today with new breath.

Today I intend to follow my nose–my God nose.  Cuz God knows what this day will bring, not me.  What God shall I pick to follow today?  Hmm, I think a Wolf, silent, purposeful, confident and easy. 

Sniffing out the next indicated action: cleaning, connecting, planning.  And sitting quietly until the right movement or idea comes right up to me nudging my hand for a pat on the head. 

First things first–I call forth my goodness.  My goodness!  My goodness how deep down this feeling of being stuck can suck the energy from my feet, my hands, my heart and my head.  This is the human speaking.

Now the Divine Wolf: take it easy.  The forest surrounds you with your goodness.  There is no hurry.  Let the hunger of what you love move you from room to room.  There is no such thing as a detour, just the path that seeks your feet like a lover.

She says: I am here.  You are loved, lovable and loving.  Let me have my Way with you today.

I’m a spirit in a human game.  I wonder a lot what the game plan is, recognize that I do have a coach and try to listen to the suggestions She makes.

But I’d really much rather be a football player.  With a trim tough body I could be a line backer (isn’t that the one that catches the ball?).  With those fantasy arms as big as my (current) thighs, power that pulls crowds down the field, eyes in the back of my head, arms that reach to the sky, fierce grabbing velcro hands that secure that pigskin tight into my chest.  Or I could be a blocker–satisfaction guaranteed to squat like an ancient retaining stone wall, securely rooted and steadfastedly unmoving against the pressure of all opposition.

Whatever game I believe is on the field today, every morning I sit in the stands and cheer cheer cheer!  How tremendous!  What a good play!  Did you see that catch?!?!  When I complete a task, return a phone call, listen and share, open my heart, treat myself, take an extra breath.

Today is the day the Lady has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad.

I am in the middle of the forest.  A soft, quiet fragrant forest.  I wish I had the words to paint you the aroma and incense of pine floor, cedar bark, hidden sparrows, huge Presence.

I claim all that I cannot express of the deeply rooted safety and comfort that surrounds me in a forest.  A squirrel fusses.  She twists her head and checks on me while she digs and burrows, scatters and hides.  Leaves, flaming maple bright spots, alder slender sunshines, flutter and color the soft walk.

A tree as wide as I am tall stands next to the path.  Oh that I remember with each breath that I am leaning against Her immovable strength.  May I breathe in Her scent that transforms my whole being into heaven for that endless moment.  I grip the furrowed handles of Her skin and hold on for my dear life.

Everything, everyone is the Presence of Her Forest today.

I believe that I am a human, merely being, that needs to breathe in and breathe out regularly.  I require fuel called food, shelter, clothing and sleep.  Most of my life is spent in my current culture figuring out how to secure these requirements.

I believe there is more than meets the eye of this human earth existence.  Don’t think I can ever figure it out, it depends on what I choose to believe.  Right now I believe that two aspirin and a cola soda pop will make me feel like washing out sheets filled with dog poop.  From my old loving, lovable dog that should have died years ago that I cherish.

I believe in immense gratitude helps the spirit inside this protoplasmic biological shell I wear.  Gratitude today is for this computer, internet connection, my family after a great little dinner party last night, a phone that works, pens and paper, a scooter I can ride with a car in the shop, and it is not raining right now.

I believe in the joy of my tribe.  Those that I run with, graze with, connect with.  Already emails, voice messages, nudges to return calls all buffet what seems like an empty useless day.

I believe that there is more for me to consider than the irritating trivial “now” of my cat whining and scratching at the window.

I believe in the shift that comes from this morning practice of feeling my humanness and writing about the centering bliss of a Divine Touch, a Spirit’s sweet whisper, and/or the image of an elephant truck raising me up to the towering view on His back lifts me up above it all.

The sun breaks, and the shadows flee away.