Balance means something different to me than it did years ago.  I saw myself in the middle of a teeter totter, with feet almost on both sides, rising and falling to keep myself steady.  Now I see myself over one side BUMP hitting the ground and slowly moving to the middle and perhaps to the other side BUMP.  Without judgment.

Codependent one minute, pissed because I don’t get enough attention for it, realizing my internal game, then shame that I tried to bribe with a good deed.  Speaking sharply to create a boundary, hearing my hurtful words from a tired body, trying to pull back the statement, shame at my insufficiencies.

Back and forth,  back and forth.  I cherish the long deep slow breath that brings me back to the purity beyond the land of right and wrong.  Standing at the edge of the old forest seeing the full sunset golden field in front of me, I balance.