Being comfortable with uncertainty is one thing.  But accepting the uncomfortable is another.  I am not uncertain about being uncomfortable–I just don’t like it.  I’m used to fixing something (even if it’s not broken), leaving, slamming the door, arguing or indulging just to avoid the uncomfortable.

Change is naturally uncomfortable.  You’d think as a human for many years now that I’d get used to change.  Someone once said to me: It’s just change!  I was appalled that anyone could consider it “just” change.  It is like the ground has broken apart, shifted and the whole geography of my life is different.  Past looks different, future still in the fog, self-perception in flux (at best).

Breathing the now, I ask: “Are you there?”  And I always hear the answer: “I am right here.”  It is a clear sweet whisper near my neck and my ear.  It tantalizes me into softness and I lean my head into Hers.  I reach and grasp Her hand, holding it tightly like the little scared girl I feel like today.  With Her love, I can accept the pain in my heart as taffy twisted into candy.