Living at concordance with the flow of life–that seems to be the Way.  But I feel out of the flow somehow.  Like I’m stuck in wirey bushes along the edge of the river.  I can hear the rushing flow and the soft gurgle, but every time I move I seem to be stuck.

So I don’t move.  I know I am safe.  I don’t want to die.  Watching a dear friend wrestle with that old waiting ghost chills me–wondering about the sum of my life.  Judging myself and then finding the hole beneath my feet widening like quicksand of despair.

Ick.  I need to get out of this spot!  So let’s be grateful that I am not in prison for another 5 years, pulling spirit out of hidden books and slinking in the background from loud dangerous people.  I am grateful for a rewarding job–in that I get paid well.  I feel needed at work, and since I’m a codependent that is useful.  I have a comfortable home life.

And I yearn for the whisper of my God.  Be still and know that I Am.  Today I will listen more for her sweet Song.