Accepting this pitiful period of self-centered doubt is irritating but necessary.  From experience I know that sitting on the pity pot eventually will give me a ring around the butt.  I get sick of myself being down, tired of the insufficiency feeling, bored with the lack of confidence.

The problem has been then sometimes I vacillate over to rash behavior.  Dye my hair.  Take an expensive trip.  Spend money.  Ruin a family.  The inner warrior gets disgusted with the inertia and just DOES something.

Not sure I’m there yet.  Still a bit isolating, liking imaginary wounds.  Even my obsession with reading books has waned and I merely go to sleep early.

So I bow to the Divine today to distract me with kindness, miracles and beauty.  Trees in the dark.  Cozy car.  Music from a friend.  Heat humming in the house.  Cats whining for food.  Sunflowers on the table.

Sticking to the little brilliance of life today as if it is the most precious in the universe.  And the Loving One has placed a feast out for me.  I eat slowly.