Drama girl

I am somewhat of a drama girl.  Born, raised and lived that way for a long time.  Now there is not much drama.  Oh sure, work rises up a bit and I come home exhausted, but I try to stay on the fringes of that or just dive in, make a sound and go home.

But being an addict, and maybe a drama addict, when there is no stirring up around me, when simple satisfaction or a restful day comes along, I feel at loose ends.   My intention is for these days to be full of grace, and right now, I’m working through the feeling of inertia, being down, being stuck.  I guess I connect it with not being loved, because I’m not DOING for someone else.

Habits are hard to break, and doing for others as a habit is an endless useless chase after a reward.  Today I will let the next right action come up to me, and look around at the grace that gratitude reveals to me.