I want to go straight to flat out open heart no exit end-of-story surrender.  No arguments, no contest, no control, no conniving, no excuses yielding.  But I just continue to struggle and wrestle with the day.

Welcome to earth Ms. Human.  You will be constantly subject to the idea that you are in control.  You do have choice, but the hypnotic effect of people, places, feelings, ideas and events will trick you into heart-palpitating excitement and anxiety.  This is the ride you signed up for, so just snap your seat belt into the slot and hold onto the railing.

You will fall off eventually.  If you’re lucky, you’ll be ready for the rest and look forward to getting out. 

But for now, take a deep breath and know that I AM right beside you.  We ARE having fun, and this IS a place to laugh and squeal and giggle, even when it feels that we are going to fly off into outer space without a parachute.

As my first boyfriend said to me, “This is supposed to be fun!”