What is it about sharing your worst times with those also in tough spots that seems to heal? How could it be that when I talk about the hardest year of my life, and now 20 years later my heart still beats hard and my breath comes out short and forced, that it brings hope to someone else? It certainly reminds me that I’m grateful to be here and now instead of there and then.
It reminds me of gratitude. That I’m really sunning myself now, even if I’m going out in the cold and rainy dark morning. My home is safe. My days do not include screaming and yelling and terrifying children. I have not ruined anyone’s life today–and haven’t for years.
I have the Divine to lean on today. There are those that think this is the sign of weakness for some reason. But I know my limitations–I am not god. I am not a channel, I am not an angel today right now. I am an earth-woven, soft bodied, mushy feeling person here for less than a blink of an eye.
The love of Her, Him, It, Nature, whatever I face, is what I lean on. And leaning into this warmth of eternity, I always feel it lean back into me.