Ok, how come I didn’t get that booklet when I was born: “How to feel as a human and keep centered as a spirit at play.”?  Seeing family, living with a partner, working among other humans–all bring up these murky sticky feelings that don’t seem to match facts or logic.  But what to do with them?

“Detach” I hear.  Yeah, ok, so I sit in another room with the tar-paper feelings and have nothing but ick on my hands.  Sorting them out is like dissecting fog.  Or in a middle of a family gathering, with siblings I knew from before birth, it’s like all of a sudden I have peanut butter everywhere–on my fingers, shirt and stuck on my heart.  I feel sad or lonely or puzzled in the midst of screaming yelling niece & nephew, loud chatting brothers, sisters laughing & cooking.  How can I feel lonely in a crowd?

Well these are not new, and it won’t be the last time.  Perhaps just getting used to feeling them and not reacting to this churning chest crawling mud is all that is needed.  Lucky for me I can pull some of them off and slap them on this paper.

And so you don’t get stuck with sticky fingers, I wash them off with the cleansing Love of the Dear One that puts Her arm around me and whispers in my ear “Remember to play.  Enjoy the ride.  Do not analyze the funway.  Just squeal and raise your hands in surrender.”

The trees remind me that I chose to be a walking plant, taking on the stories of the brain, the path of human feet wandering through puzzling rocks and feeling cold water streams, face shining in sun, shoulders sinking into the soft forest shadows.