I’m supposedly a human being, not a human “doing”.  And right now I feel like completely NOT doing, but it is so against all my codependent instincts.  From the time my gramma would say: “If you feel bad, do something for someone else,” my nature is to serve.  At least it seems that way.  That is a well-developed instinct that is certainly out of balance if that is my sole source of personal value.

So how do I switch from a human doing to a human being?  I know for a fact that sitting in quiet, indulging in that space between my breathing will allow me a glimpse of heaven while I am still on earth.  But even that seems to be such an effort of “doing.”

Paying attention to nature helps.  Rain is not doing, it is being.  Bare bone grey tree branches are being–while inside their sap is beginning to circulate with dreams of green sprouts.  And in the front yard tiny vermillion sprouts are throwing off the cover of the brown dead leaves to grin at the mist with accomplishment.

Once again I must leave this day to the inspiration of Heaven.  I bow and listen to Her most gentle whisper of goodness.  At the dearth of any despair I hear the brilliant light of intrinsic value that She has instilled inside me–walking the planet in Her name, Her spirit, Her creative delight.  Perhaps today She wants to do nothing and merely putz around the house, watch a movie or nap.

I let Her have Her Way with me today.