Allowing my fears just to be fears.  False evidence appearing real  Old and strong protective voices telling me to run, fight–no matter what the change is about.  Warrior habits that just don’t match the present moment.

Especially when the present moment is a quiet apartment looking out into the forest, soft whirring of the laptop and  comforting clacking keys.  Nothing wrong, nothing right–just the Way.

How not to be afraid of my fear.  How to befriend it like a tenuous new pet or a feral cat, wide eyes watching tensely from under the bushes.  Even a morsel of food sometimes won’t coax out or soothe the memories of intimate pain.

Pain really is distrust.  I’m told recently to increase my trust level with the Divine.  Well, I trust friends, but sometimes they don’t seem to keep in touch with me.

But I can’t say that about my Dear One.  She is my guardian angel.  My personal god.  There is no one else in the world but Her for me and me for Her.  Because She lives through me, as me, with me, around me, beneath me, above me, throughout every cell and breath and moment of me.

Good reminder.  Thanks.